Push the Button
Didn’t write for quite a while.
There are too much to write now anyway.
In fact, I wanted to start writing again from beginning of this week but you know my god damn ass laziness and well, I’ll talk about it later. About last week first.
After writing the last post Let it Live, I just felt like stop writing. Well, I don’t really remember exactly why I stopped writing if you want to know the truth. But I know I did it for some purpose. I guess that was excessive time for my blog… I mean I wasn’t even sure what I was writing anymore and just wanted to force myself to leave doing blogging. I stopped msn chatting and email as well. Didn’t chat or email with people at all. Nobody wrote me either. To tell the truth, today I finally got two emails from Shannon and one from a guy I know in the United States. Emails after a long time made me little happy.
Anyway well, I guess I was getting over self conscious about this blog but after all I am this and you know, no matter you or I like it or not. I write what naturally comes out from me and this is it. Not sure why I write but I need to, and if you don’t get bored with this, you are welcome to read.
Actually I was pretty happy in the first half of last week for some reason. I found official website of Rishi Valley which I bet that it was created fairly recently. My sister is going there for a term this year and you know we talked about RV and all. Remembering the days of RV always makes me feel great even though actually not many things were great there. Hope you check the website and if you ever get a chance to visit (south) India I recommend you to visit there. It’s not a tourist area or anything, but the place is inspiring… at least to me it is. Other reasons I was happy were; heard new songs by Mars Volta and Beck. Hell yes that was fucking great. Beck’s album is going to be one of the best this year for sure. And I bought a debut album by Bloc Party. Boy, this is so good too. “This modern love” is a killer tune. And yea, I’ve been reading a lot of books, and one Novel by Japanese writer called Kazufumi Shiraishi, was just absolutely fucking mind blowing. Unfortunately I don’t think you’ll ever be able to read this one unless it gets translated, but anyway it was really great. Name of the book is “the part that hasn’t broken yet in my heart”. It’s sort of Catcher in the Rye story in a sense that the book is more about what character thinks and feels than just a story. The book is much more serious anyway. The main character has cold outlook to the world and life and is always wondering what life is. But well I guess the book gets into too philosophic side so that doesn’t appeal to many people. That’s what I liked though. Oh yea, I went to some small festival too. I mean it’s a traditional thing and I met some people out there. Of course those I haven’t met for a pretty long while. They didn’t even realize that it’s me in first look.
That was 3rd, Wednesday. Then my life goes sudden steep downhill again. That night, I was emailing with the girl I was talking about few weeks back. I had a plan to go to Tokyo next day to check some stuff in admission office of college I want to get in there, so I asked her if she’s free that evening (she lives in Tokyo). She said she is and we could meet and spend some time together. You know seemed like everything is going fine to me, but after all, late that night, she emailed me saying “really sorry but I’ve been having cold and won’t be able to meet you tomorrow”.
Fucking piece of shit.
Well, okay, yea, I don’t think she was lying, she was actually sick I guess, and how could I force her to go out? But that didn’t make me happy for sure. The thing was, she has done the same thing before. I think that was fall of 2003, when I came back from RV to Japan for a short winter break. That was just the same way. She said she could meet me first then after all ends up she saying she can’t, for some reason. I don’t know, maybe just my hard luck.
I wasn’t that upset with that anyway if you want to know the truth. But what irritated me was I went to Tokyo and my job was done in 15 minutes. C’mon man, going to Tokyo should be little bit more ah, something. That was no fun at all. Went to HMV to kill some time but didn’t feel great so after all just went back home without doing nothing. Pathetic, really. So then I was feeling pretty frustrated and lonely and fucked again at home. Spent time doing not much thing and finally Sunday night some serious chat with my parents cheered me up. I guess they were little worried about me. And can you guess what my mom said? She said she can understand what its like to be at home all the time without interaction with other people, so she would allow me to watch one movie everyday if that keeps me fine. And what made me happy more than anything was she didn’t mention a word about entrance for college. Because most of the time when we chat seriously she gives me some shits about entrance for college and that irritates me like hell. And also I knew it’s true she understands me because she herself has been away alone from her own country for a long time. She’s a house wife here and she hardly goes out so actually she’s the one who has been really suffering.
So from Monday, I finally started waking up right in time (well, that’s still around seven) and doing yoga (had stopped doing it in NC cos it was too cold…). The week was going okay, but then I again got stuck with forever-wonder what life is question…
Today ends in next five minutes.
Well, today was Japan’s national foundation holiday (holiday doesn’t mean much to me though). And today’s exactly one month from the day I came back to Japan.
Just remembered it.
Well, I will read these lines tomorrow and check mistakes then will post it.
There are too much to write now anyway.
In fact, I wanted to start writing again from beginning of this week but you know my god damn ass laziness and well, I’ll talk about it later. About last week first.
After writing the last post Let it Live, I just felt like stop writing. Well, I don’t really remember exactly why I stopped writing if you want to know the truth. But I know I did it for some purpose. I guess that was excessive time for my blog… I mean I wasn’t even sure what I was writing anymore and just wanted to force myself to leave doing blogging. I stopped msn chatting and email as well. Didn’t chat or email with people at all. Nobody wrote me either. To tell the truth, today I finally got two emails from Shannon and one from a guy I know in the United States. Emails after a long time made me little happy.
Anyway well, I guess I was getting over self conscious about this blog but after all I am this and you know, no matter you or I like it or not. I write what naturally comes out from me and this is it. Not sure why I write but I need to, and if you don’t get bored with this, you are welcome to read.
Actually I was pretty happy in the first half of last week for some reason. I found official website of Rishi Valley which I bet that it was created fairly recently. My sister is going there for a term this year and you know we talked about RV and all. Remembering the days of RV always makes me feel great even though actually not many things were great there. Hope you check the website and if you ever get a chance to visit (south) India I recommend you to visit there. It’s not a tourist area or anything, but the place is inspiring… at least to me it is. Other reasons I was happy were; heard new songs by Mars Volta and Beck. Hell yes that was fucking great. Beck’s album is going to be one of the best this year for sure. And I bought a debut album by Bloc Party. Boy, this is so good too. “This modern love” is a killer tune. And yea, I’ve been reading a lot of books, and one Novel by Japanese writer called Kazufumi Shiraishi, was just absolutely fucking mind blowing. Unfortunately I don’t think you’ll ever be able to read this one unless it gets translated, but anyway it was really great. Name of the book is “the part that hasn’t broken yet in my heart”. It’s sort of Catcher in the Rye story in a sense that the book is more about what character thinks and feels than just a story. The book is much more serious anyway. The main character has cold outlook to the world and life and is always wondering what life is. But well I guess the book gets into too philosophic side so that doesn’t appeal to many people. That’s what I liked though. Oh yea, I went to some small festival too. I mean it’s a traditional thing and I met some people out there. Of course those I haven’t met for a pretty long while. They didn’t even realize that it’s me in first look.
That was 3rd, Wednesday. Then my life goes sudden steep downhill again. That night, I was emailing with the girl I was talking about few weeks back. I had a plan to go to Tokyo next day to check some stuff in admission office of college I want to get in there, so I asked her if she’s free that evening (she lives in Tokyo). She said she is and we could meet and spend some time together. You know seemed like everything is going fine to me, but after all, late that night, she emailed me saying “really sorry but I’ve been having cold and won’t be able to meet you tomorrow”.
Fucking piece of shit.
Well, okay, yea, I don’t think she was lying, she was actually sick I guess, and how could I force her to go out? But that didn’t make me happy for sure. The thing was, she has done the same thing before. I think that was fall of 2003, when I came back from RV to Japan for a short winter break. That was just the same way. She said she could meet me first then after all ends up she saying she can’t, for some reason. I don’t know, maybe just my hard luck.
I wasn’t that upset with that anyway if you want to know the truth. But what irritated me was I went to Tokyo and my job was done in 15 minutes. C’mon man, going to Tokyo should be little bit more ah, something. That was no fun at all. Went to HMV to kill some time but didn’t feel great so after all just went back home without doing nothing. Pathetic, really. So then I was feeling pretty frustrated and lonely and fucked again at home. Spent time doing not much thing and finally Sunday night some serious chat with my parents cheered me up. I guess they were little worried about me. And can you guess what my mom said? She said she can understand what its like to be at home all the time without interaction with other people, so she would allow me to watch one movie everyday if that keeps me fine. And what made me happy more than anything was she didn’t mention a word about entrance for college. Because most of the time when we chat seriously she gives me some shits about entrance for college and that irritates me like hell. And also I knew it’s true she understands me because she herself has been away alone from her own country for a long time. She’s a house wife here and she hardly goes out so actually she’s the one who has been really suffering.
So from Monday, I finally started waking up right in time (well, that’s still around seven) and doing yoga (had stopped doing it in NC cos it was too cold…). The week was going okay, but then I again got stuck with forever-wonder what life is question…
Today ends in next five minutes.
Well, today was Japan’s national foundation holiday (holiday doesn’t mean much to me though). And today’s exactly one month from the day I came back to Japan.
Just remembered it.
Well, I will read these lines tomorrow and check mistakes then will post it.
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