Don't expect smile from me
Let’s see, what shall I write?
There are a lot I want to write, but I don’t have much time – I mean I don’t feel too energetic to write a lot right now.
My past months have been terrible. Being at home all the time was driving me literally insane. I almost lost my mind and thought I don’t exist you don’t exist no one exists this world doesn’t exist and all.
I don’t know if that was a right view – maybe it was, but I thought I would give a try on living this world and life.
So I decided to start a part time job to socialize and to see other people working for living. I’m doing a waiter at a “Ramen” restaurant which is in a shopping mall of my town now. Don’t ask me why I chose this place. Maybe because it was pretty near from my home. I had an interview, and then a contract first. The job started last week and today was my 5th day.
Man, I must confess, I already found out that the job is not for me. You know I think it’s a really good opportunity for me to see other people working and how society and all works but it’s not my kind of job. I don’t mind working, but the thing is, owners tell me to smile there, and I can’t smile. I mean I’m not good at smiling.
For quite a long time I hated smiling. I mean I liked other people smiling but I didn’t like my smile. Because I thought it looks so horrible. But a girl I know, once told me my smile isn’t so bad, so then I stopped minding my smile. So these days I rather liked smiling sometimes.
But no, smiling all the time makes me feel so weird. I don’t know, people say smiling is healthy and all but I think compelled smile is rather unhealthy and looks quite ugly too.
Anyway I know… I can’t quit the job for a while… at least for 6 months. That’s what I said at the interview. My dad told me, if I want to quit, I just have to do some nasty work out there, but I don’t think I could do that. And I want some money to visit India and all too. So well… I guess I just have to make myself believe that I’m an Oscar actor or something… like Robert De Niro. I know, his smile isn’t so sexy, but he does it when he needs to.
There are a lot I want to write, but I don’t have much time – I mean I don’t feel too energetic to write a lot right now.
My past months have been terrible. Being at home all the time was driving me literally insane. I almost lost my mind and thought I don’t exist you don’t exist no one exists this world doesn’t exist and all.
I don’t know if that was a right view – maybe it was, but I thought I would give a try on living this world and life.
So I decided to start a part time job to socialize and to see other people working for living. I’m doing a waiter at a “Ramen” restaurant which is in a shopping mall of my town now. Don’t ask me why I chose this place. Maybe because it was pretty near from my home. I had an interview, and then a contract first. The job started last week and today was my 5th day.
Man, I must confess, I already found out that the job is not for me. You know I think it’s a really good opportunity for me to see other people working and how society and all works but it’s not my kind of job. I don’t mind working, but the thing is, owners tell me to smile there, and I can’t smile. I mean I’m not good at smiling.
For quite a long time I hated smiling. I mean I liked other people smiling but I didn’t like my smile. Because I thought it looks so horrible. But a girl I know, once told me my smile isn’t so bad, so then I stopped minding my smile. So these days I rather liked smiling sometimes.
But no, smiling all the time makes me feel so weird. I don’t know, people say smiling is healthy and all but I think compelled smile is rather unhealthy and looks quite ugly too.
Anyway I know… I can’t quit the job for a while… at least for 6 months. That’s what I said at the interview. My dad told me, if I want to quit, I just have to do some nasty work out there, but I don’t think I could do that. And I want some money to visit India and all too. So well… I guess I just have to make myself believe that I’m an Oscar actor or something… like Robert De Niro. I know, his smile isn’t so sexy, but he does it when he needs to.
posted by writer at
10:57 PM
4 Comments:
lol robert de niro >_<
sorry. that made me laugh.
damn so they make you smile?! that's insane.
one day my teacher was on the phone. as he hung up, he gave a friendly chuckle and said goodbye. then he turned to me and said "sometimes in life, you just have to make yourself laugh, no matter how much you're screaming on the inside."
shittiest advice i've ever got in my whole life.
By
Anonymous, at 5:56 AM
I've forgotten how to smile. Now, I just look like I have a severe facial affliction if I try to, so I steer away from smiling.
What you talking about? That's good advice, life's too short to be bothered by things. You know, when you're laughing the whole world laughs with you! No, I have no idea what that actually means either...
By
Ragnarok, at 8:17 PM
You know, I'm doing a waiter.
So I'm supposed to smile and work joyfully... according to my owners and all. and I guess that makes sense... just that it's so hard!
Well, I would say life is rather to be bothered by things... long as that doesn't annoy others too much.
Today I didn't have work. But tommorow I do and I'm already getting nervous! Oh no!
By
writer, at 11:58 PM
I have to smarmy and charming in work, to uphold the long tradition of the company (I don't see what traditions, it's not even a century old yet). It's not to bad, but after smiling for four hours, a slight facial tik can develop.
By
Anthropax, at 1:08 AM
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